Coaching
Fulfilling Your Life Potential
©Cort Curtis, Ph.D.
You are the creator of your life and, as every artist knows, if you are not
creating, you are not alive; you are not bringing something that "lies
within" out into the world; you are merely settling for what life throws at
you. You have entered this life for a purpose, for a potential to be fulfilled.
You are not here to simply follow other's expectations. If you are not
fulfilling your potential you are not living a life you love. Just as an acorn
contains the potential of a mighty oak tree, so do you contain a potential
that is yet to be fulfilled.
No one can tell you what your potential is. It is something that you must
discover and rediscover for yourself over and over. Fulfilling your
potential is not a one-time accomplishment; it is an ongoing,
upward-spiraling accomplishment of creating and fulfilling your vision.
The reality for most of our lives is that we have settled for far less than
what we are capable of. We live our lives based on the expectations of
others. Or we look at our circumstances and say to ourselves that I am
just unfortunate or trapped or unlucky in life compared to others who have
it "way better than I do."
You once had a dream or a vision for yourself or your life that you have
said in effect, "I could never do that, I could never accomplish that, it is too
much trouble, I could never be that; that is for somebody else." That
dream may have shown up as a child or perhaps in recent years and you
have either shut it down or at best settled for "someday" or for something
that you really don't want. "Someday I will do that, someday I will
accomplish that, someday I will have that" and that "someday" seems to
be more and more elusive and farther and farther in the future. The truth
is that many people die with that "someday" intact and it is only on their
death bed that they regretfully reminisce, "I wish I had...", "If only I had...",
"I wish I'd been...", "If I had to do it all over again I would have...". How
many ideas, how many dreams, how much potential for making a
difference in life, how much "unfinished business" have died with the
death of the physical body.
You may not have a clear vision of what your full potential is. Few of us
do. Your full potential may start out as just a "sense" but as you continue
down the road of your life the picture gets clearer and clearer. Your full
potential is much like a puzzle that you don't quite know what the full
picture looks like. You put in a piece here, you put in a piece there, things
begin to "fit" together and suddenly the picture begins to take shape.
Suddenly you begin to see the shape that your life is seeking to take.
The coaching relationship is structured in such a way to assist you in
resurrecting your life toward the fulfillment of your creative potential.
Through coaching, you have another human being who is being a source
for you to articulate and fulfill your dreams and intentions. That dream
may be as "large" as making a difference in the world or your community,
creating a business, having more money, writing a book, going to school,
changing professions, creating a miraculous relationship, running for
political office, starring in a movie or expanding your company. Or it can
be as "small" as cleaning your closets, redecorating your house, going to
the gym or losing weight. There is no relative value that one goal has over
another. Your potential is really staring you right in the face; it is what you
are struggling with to accomplish but, for whatever reason you just can't
"get yourself" to take the necessary steps to complete your goal. And
when the "little things" are left undone it makes it very difficult if not
impossible to accomplish the "bigger things" you are up to in life.
There are few people in life who have succeeded in "doing it alone".
Without another person to articulate a vision to, to share the struggles
and to work through the inevitable resistances, our potential remains
dormant and possibilities go unfulfilled. The incomplete ideas, visions,
accomplishments, or simply "unfinished business" goes round and round
in our heads justified in staying there by our inner conversation that says
"someday; someday I will do that; someday I will get around to it." We don't
bring our potential out into the world, we don't make it real, we are not
inspired to take action. And, unless you are God or a fairy godmother,
nothing is brought into the world without action!
The Nature of Creating
It takes no time to create. Creation is instant. You are creating all the time.
What takes time is manifesting our creations. And that takes action.
Creating a building, a bridge or a space shuttle is instant; it begins with an
idea. But manifesting a building, a bridge or a space shuttle takes action.
In addition, it takes organization, planning, resources and an articulation
of a vision. And none of these things are built alone.
When it comes to our individual lives, creating may involve something that
you want for yourself or your life or it may simply involve creating a new
experience of your already existing circumstances. Creating is bringing
something new into existence, something that did not exist before. It takes
nothing for you to create; you create out of nothing and you create from
nothing; you can (and do) create in an instant completely out of the realm
of time! You have created your life up to this point in time and you may be
stuck with, and living out of, your creation. And you do not have the
"space" to create something new when you are saddled with unfinished
"creations" from the past.
When you create you are being like God in your own universe. What you
create is what you live into. What you create inspires your thoughts,
feelings and actions in the present. What you create calls you forward into
your future. In fact your creation is your "calling" in life.
True power in life is your ability to manifest your creations, which for us
mortal humans occurs only through action. Power can be measured by
the velocity by which you bring something into existence. God is ultimate
power. When God created light it was instant. He said, "let there be light,
and there was light." God didn't have to act to bring light into existence.
There was no time period between the creation and the manifestation of
that creation. It was instant. The creation and the act were one in the
same.
You were made in the image and likeness of God and so therefore you
function like God. You act just like God but you are also human. As
human you live in the realm of time. When you say, "let there be" there is
a time interval between when you declare something and when you make
that declaration real. This is true when you are attempting to manifest
something physical and tangible like more money or a job or a new
relationship. Regardless of how long it might take to manifest a creation,
when you say that something is so, when you make a declaration in life,
powerful forces begin to line up with the realization of that creation. As
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Once you make a decision, the universe
conspires to make it happen."
However there is another realm of creation that is as instant as the way
God creates and that is creating being. In fact you are creating being all
the time. You are what you say you are and that is instant.
You are creating being whenever you say, "I am". Whatever you identify
with you are immediately that. You actually speak your "beingness" into
existence. A simple example is, if I say I am unable then I am unable. If I
say I can, I can. This is why it is critical to be aware of your language and
how you use language because your language (how you speak) creates
reality for you. You really do speak things into existence and you are
creating your beingness all the time (in the beginning was the word).
As human beings we have identified with an image of ourselves. That
image is made up of beliefs and pictures. We have created that image
and said in effect, "That is who I am." You say, "I am the image of myself."
You have become your image and forgot that you created it! And you are
now living "inside of" your creation. You are being that image and
maintaining that image simply out of the way you speak.
We inherently love our creations. That is why we are so "in love" with our
self-image, the picture we hold of ourselves. Even if our self-image is
"negative" we are still "in love" with it. You will begin to realize this when
you face the possibility of letting go of that negative self-image. You want
to hold on to it because you made it and now identify with it. But you have
forgotten something so simple that makes all the difference in how you live
your life. You forgot that you created it and forgot your true identity, which
is being the creator of that image. Your true identity rests in being the
creator rather than the creation.
In creating a life you love, you want to make the distinction between
creating a result in the world and creating being. If you are attempting to
create something in the world and are grim about it or you are "efforting
and struggling", then your chances of accomplishing your goal are greatly
diminished. How you are being while you are attempting to manifest
something is often much more important than the goal itself. It is often a
matter of enjoying the journey than to be stuck on the destination (when
are we going to get there).
How Coaching Works
What is the function of a coach?
When we think of the word "coach" the first thing that comes to mind is
someone in the sport's field. A coach is someone who "knows the game"
typically because he or she has "played the game". But when a coach is
coaching players the coach is "on the sidelines" watching and listening to
the players. When it comes to "practice" the coach is enabling the player
to maximize his or her ability. Because the coach is intently observing the
performance of the player, the coach is in a position to give the player
feedback empowering the player to continually improve his or her ability to
play the game. When it comes to "game time" the coach is assisting
players to develop strategies so that they increase their ability to "win the
game."
Without a coach, a player does not have the all-important "mirror" to
continually see him or herself in what he or she is doing. There is no
"feedback loop" where the player can evaluate what's missing and bring
something new to the game. In the coaching relationship, something new
can come into existence that goes beyond what the coach and the player
could anticipate. As Napoleon Hill once said, "No two minds ever come
together without, thereby, creating a third, invisible, intangible force which
may be likened to a 3rd mind."
When it comes to the "game of life" very few of us have a "coach" or a
mentor to whom we can turn to, and consider, the next step in our "game".
This is the value that coaching can provide for you, another person who
can "hold" your highest potential as a creator of possibilities. There will be
times when you "forget", when you are "down on yourself", or when you
feel it's just not worth it, or forget your own power, or even forget what
your goal was. It is during those times that we typically "chuck it all" and
return to the couch or live in our dreams of "someday" or "when I get
around to it." There is wisdom in the old saying, "When the going gets
tough, the tough get going." As long as you "keep going" no matter how
small the steps and no matter how difficult the going gets, eventually
breakthroughs happen and you reach your destination.
The Coaching Process
The coaching process is all done by telephone. The first step in setting up
the coaching relationship is to have an initial Vision Interview. The
purpose of the Vision Interview is to look at what you are creating (or have
created) that you seek to fulfill. The coach will assist you in articulating
your vision, what you really want for yourself and your life. Your Vision is
what you envision, what you see; it is, initially, a broad stroke painting of
what you want in your life or what you want for your life. It may be
something that you want to do in the world or it may be a new way of being
or perhaps something that you want to have. It will become your future
toward which you are living into. It is the outcome toward which you are
seeking to accomplish.
The result of the Vision Interview is that you will have a clearer vision of
your creation. You will see clearly what you are intending to manifest into
the world. You will have a greater clarity as to what manifesting this vision
will make available to you in your life. There is often a greater purpose in
your life than simply the accomplishment of an external goal. It is often an
experience you are really looking for, and you believe it is the
accomplishment of the goal that will make that experience available to
you. When you can see clearly the experience you are looking for, you will
get in touch with your ability to create that experience now. As you seek to
fulfill your vision and as you create the experience you are looking for,
then the process of fulfilling your goal takes on a new dimension. It is akin
to "enjoying the journey" rather than being stuck on the destination.
Commitment
Manifesting a vision can only occur out of a commitment to that vision.
Your commitment actually "holds" your vision in place. Your commitment is
what generates your circumstances to align with the fulfillment of that
commitment. Without a commitment to fulfilling your vision, your creations
are likely to occur as just another "good idea" that never gets fulfilled. Or
when the inevitable resistances arise, you will likely give up and settle for
other "more important" activities like watching TV or browsing in the
refrigerator for something to binge on.
It is valuable to realize that the moment you declare and commit to
something, everything that is "unlike" your vision will show up in the form
of resistances along the way. For example, if I create the possibility having
more money in my life, all of my "issues" about money will suddenly rise to
the surface. It will look at first, like things are not working, like I'm someone
who could never have a lot of money, I'm not "meant" to have more
money, all of the past ways that I have irresponsibly dealt with money, my
guilt, what I "believe" about having money in my life, and so on, will show
it's "ugly face". It is at those points where we typically "sell out" and tell
ourselves, "it's not worth it" or "forget about it." It is why most of us don't
carry through with New Year's resolutions; the first moment we "blow it" we
use that as a justification for not going forward.
Resistances are not bad. Resistances are the very "stuff" out of which
growth occurs. But without working through the resistances, without
acknowledging them, without letting go of that which stops you, you will
always tend to "sell out" to them and you will be diverted from your vision.
The only thing that really stops you is your own thinking or what you are
telling yourself. When you can transform your thinking and let go of your
barriers you can move forward.
The next step in the coaching relationship is to set up scheduled
"coaching calls". Coaching calls are typically 20-minute encounters where
the coach brings you through the process of looking at what is opening up
for you in the fulfillment of your vision. This could be an acknowledgment
of your "wins" during the week or an acknowledgement of the resistances
or struggles you are encountering. Your "wins" are the completions of
your commitments, what you say you are going to do. As in any game,
there are sometimes "losses", that is, not completing or accomplishing
what you say you will. It is when you "lose" that you typically experience a
loss of power. It is during those times when you begin to question and
doubt exactly what you have committed to. These are critical points
because, in life, when we "lose" we tend to throw away our whole vision
and get down on ourselves. How many times have you made promises to
yourself to do something and when you fail to do some part of it, you end
up throwing away the whole program and then beating yourself up!
As resistances are inevitable, your coach will be a "clearing" for you to
acknowledge your resistances and your losses and ultimately choose to
release or give up what is in the way. The releasing of your resistances
and the negative thinking that results when we "lose" at something will
open up the way to create or re-create a new action toward your vision.
This is what will enable you to "keep going." It is what will build your
"commitment muscle".
At the beginning stages of the coaching relationship, the coach will have
you commit to actions that you will count on yourself to accomplish no
matter what. When you can give your word to do what you say you are
going to do and then do what you say, then you are developing your
power muscle. Initially, it may be some very simple actions that the coach
will have you commit to but as you fulfill them you will have the capacity to
take on more and more and you will begin to feel your true power.
In the coaching relationship you are literally designing your life how you
want it to be
You don't have to "search" for your potential; it is what is sitting directly in
front of you. By taking action to deal with what is sitting in front of you, you
open up greater and greater realms of possibility.
The important thing is that you are in action; you are taking steps to the
fulfillment of something. It is a lot like "getting the ball rolling". Once you
get the ball rolling you have some momentum to keep going.
The 5 steps to a coaching call
The coaching calls are structured around 5 basic intentions, which are
designed to assist you in letting go of barriers and resistances, and then
creating a new possibility toward the accomplishment of your vision.
1) To create the space for you to look at what is opening up for you in
your life about the vision you have created.
This question provides you the space to see what you are present to in
your experience. What are you actually observing as a reality in your
outer world and in your inner world? It allows you to take an accounting of
where you are in the fulfillment of your vision. What are the results so far?
By articulating where you are, you have an opportunity to assess what is
working and what is not working for you.
2) To create the space for you to look at barriers and resistances
This question brings you back to the realization that the only thing that
stops you in your life is your thoughts and your feelings. We all get caught
up in our own resistances. When you can see clearly how you are
stopping yourself you have an opportunity to release those thoughts and
feelings.
3) To create the space for you to give up what is holding you back
This question creates an opportunity for you to look at what you might let
go of or give up that would make a difference in the fulfillment of your
goal. Since the only thing that is stopping you is your negative thoughts
and feelings, learning to release those thoughts and feelings opens up
the way for you to continue on your path.
4) To create a new intention, possibility or action for the day or the week
This question enables you to keep looking at what is next for you in the
fulfillment of your vision. It is the "next step" in the accomplishment of your
goal.
5) To create the space to be acknowledged and appreciated
You will sometimes forget why you are seeking to fulfill your vision. You
may find yourself stuck on the destination rather than enjoying the
journey. When you can declare what you want to be acknowledged and
appreciated for, you get in touch with "what's missing" in your experience.
Seeing clearly "what's missing" enables you to create a new way of being.
Fulfilling your vision is a lot like climbing a mountain. It is often like taking
one step at a time but there are also times where you take leaps and
bounds. The important thing is, making it to the top requires "keeping on
going" even when you don't "want" to.
It's All A Game
An important perspective in the whole coaching process is the realization
that what you are engaged in is truly "a game." It really is the game of
your life. It is the game of fulfilling your potential. Whether you "win" or
"lose" is not the ultimate meaning. The important thing is that you are
playing the game but you don't have to play the game. It is always a
choice. You can either be on the playing field or you can be a spectator.
But if you are really honest with yourself, you will see that life is much
more enjoyable when you are playing, when you are engaged, when you
are "in the action." And you would much rather win than lose.
What is really at stake in playing the game is the experience of playing the
game. But the experience of playing the game is heightened when you are
going for the win. When you are playing the game of your life, you have
an opportunity to experience your highest self. You have the opportunity
to experience the heights of what a human being can experience such as
personal power, joy, self-expression, freedom and love all of which arise
out of creating.
You feel power in life when you have brought something into existence
that did not exist before. The measure of your power is the speed by
which you can manifest something. Powerful people are able to bring their
creations into existence with great velocity.
You feel joy in life when you are creating something. You get a little taste
of what God must experience in creating the universe.
You are expressing yourself because, in the process of creating, you are
truly expressing your Self. You come to know your Self as a creator, not
yourself which is the object of your creations.
You experience freedom when you begin to realize that you are not a
victim of life nor a victim of your circumstances. You are someone who is
causing life to occur.
You are experiencing love because you inherently love your creations and
you are engaging other people in the process. There really is no "doing it
alone." You are sharing yourself, allowing yourself to be supported and
supporting others.
Investing In Your Life
Coaching is an investment in your dream. The value of a coach is that you
have another human being to whom you are accountable. Accountability
is just what the word means. It is taking an accounting of yourself, an
assessment of yourself on an on-going basis. You are accounting for what
you are declaring and evaluating whether you have fulfilled that
declaration. Without accountability to another human being, most of us
cannot develop the inner resources to account for ourselves; so we seek
another human being whom we can express our intentions. But it is really
not the coach you are accountable to; it is yourself. The coach is simply
another being that creates a "clearing" for you to express into. By
continually engaging in the process you become more accountable to
yourself.
One of the things that you will learn in coaching is the value of expressing
and declaring yourself. Without declaring yourself, without committing
yourself to something, nothing, literally nothing, happens. Your creation
stays like a still picture on the stage of your mind. You have heard the
saying, "Be careful what you ask for because you might get it." Well it is
true. Another way of saying that is "Be careful what you commit to
because you just might accomplish it!!"
I am convinced that we all have greatness in us but we all also have heavy
lids on top of our greatness. Coaching is about taking the lid off of your
greatness and bringing your creations into reality.
If you have any questions or would like to schedule a coaching call,
please email me or call me at (877) 372-8784.
Fulfilling Your Life Potential
©Cort Curtis, Ph.D.
You are the creator of your life and, as every artist knows, if you are not
creating, you are not alive; you are not bringing something that "lies
within" out into the world; you are merely settling for what life throws at
you. You have entered this life for a purpose, for a potential to be fulfilled.
You are not here to simply follow other's expectations. If you are not
fulfilling your potential you are not living a life you love. Just as an acorn
contains the potential of a mighty oak tree, so do you contain a potential
that is yet to be fulfilled.
No one can tell you what your potential is. It is something that you must
discover and rediscover for yourself over and over. Fulfilling your
potential is not a one-time accomplishment; it is an ongoing,
upward-spiraling accomplishment of creating and fulfilling your vision.
The reality for most of our lives is that we have settled for far less than
what we are capable of. We live our lives based on the expectations of
others. Or we look at our circumstances and say to ourselves that I am
just unfortunate or trapped or unlucky in life compared to others who have
it "way better than I do."
You once had a dream or a vision for yourself or your life that you have
said in effect, "I could never do that, I could never accomplish that, it is too
much trouble, I could never be that; that is for somebody else." That
dream may have shown up as a child or perhaps in recent years and you
have either shut it down or at best settled for "someday" or for something
that you really don't want. "Someday I will do that, someday I will
accomplish that, someday I will have that" and that "someday" seems to
be more and more elusive and farther and farther in the future. The truth
is that many people die with that "someday" intact and it is only on their
death bed that they regretfully reminisce, "I wish I had...", "If only I had...",
"I wish I'd been...", "If I had to do it all over again I would have...". How
many ideas, how many dreams, how much potential for making a
difference in life, how much "unfinished business" have died with the
death of the physical body.
You may not have a clear vision of what your full potential is. Few of us
do. Your full potential may start out as just a "sense" but as you continue
down the road of your life the picture gets clearer and clearer. Your full
potential is much like a puzzle that you don't quite know what the full
picture looks like. You put in a piece here, you put in a piece there, things
begin to "fit" together and suddenly the picture begins to take shape.
Suddenly you begin to see the shape that your life is seeking to take.
The coaching relationship is structured in such a way to assist you in
resurrecting your life toward the fulfillment of your creative potential.
Through coaching, you have another human being who is being a source
for you to articulate and fulfill your dreams and intentions. That dream
may be as "large" as making a difference in the world or your community,
creating a business, having more money, writing a book, going to school,
changing professions, creating a miraculous relationship, running for
political office, starring in a movie or expanding your company. Or it can
be as "small" as cleaning your closets, redecorating your house, going to
the gym or losing weight. There is no relative value that one goal has over
another. Your potential is really staring you right in the face; it is what you
are struggling with to accomplish but, for whatever reason you just can't
"get yourself" to take the necessary steps to complete your goal. And
when the "little things" are left undone it makes it very difficult if not
impossible to accomplish the "bigger things" you are up to in life.
There are few people in life who have succeeded in "doing it alone".
Without another person to articulate a vision to, to share the struggles
and to work through the inevitable resistances, our potential remains
dormant and possibilities go unfulfilled. The incomplete ideas, visions,
accomplishments, or simply "unfinished business" goes round and round
in our heads justified in staying there by our inner conversation that says
"someday; someday I will do that; someday I will get around to it." We don't
bring our potential out into the world, we don't make it real, we are not
inspired to take action. And, unless you are God or a fairy godmother,
nothing is brought into the world without action!
The Nature of Creating
It takes no time to create. Creation is instant. You are creating all the time.
What takes time is manifesting our creations. And that takes action.
Creating a building, a bridge or a space shuttle is instant; it begins with an
idea. But manifesting a building, a bridge or a space shuttle takes action.
In addition, it takes organization, planning, resources and an articulation
of a vision. And none of these things are built alone.
When it comes to our individual lives, creating may involve something that
you want for yourself or your life or it may simply involve creating a new
experience of your already existing circumstances. Creating is bringing
something new into existence, something that did not exist before. It takes
nothing for you to create; you create out of nothing and you create from
nothing; you can (and do) create in an instant completely out of the realm
of time! You have created your life up to this point in time and you may be
stuck with, and living out of, your creation. And you do not have the
"space" to create something new when you are saddled with unfinished
"creations" from the past.
When you create you are being like God in your own universe. What you
create is what you live into. What you create inspires your thoughts,
feelings and actions in the present. What you create calls you forward into
your future. In fact your creation is your "calling" in life.
True power in life is your ability to manifest your creations, which for us
mortal humans occurs only through action. Power can be measured by
the velocity by which you bring something into existence. God is ultimate
power. When God created light it was instant. He said, "let there be light,
and there was light." God didn't have to act to bring light into existence.
There was no time period between the creation and the manifestation of
that creation. It was instant. The creation and the act were one in the
same.
You were made in the image and likeness of God and so therefore you
function like God. You act just like God but you are also human. As
human you live in the realm of time. When you say, "let there be" there is
a time interval between when you declare something and when you make
that declaration real. This is true when you are attempting to manifest
something physical and tangible like more money or a job or a new
relationship. Regardless of how long it might take to manifest a creation,
when you say that something is so, when you make a declaration in life,
powerful forces begin to line up with the realization of that creation. As
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Once you make a decision, the universe
conspires to make it happen."
However there is another realm of creation that is as instant as the way
God creates and that is creating being. In fact you are creating being all
the time. You are what you say you are and that is instant.
You are creating being whenever you say, "I am". Whatever you identify
with you are immediately that. You actually speak your "beingness" into
existence. A simple example is, if I say I am unable then I am unable. If I
say I can, I can. This is why it is critical to be aware of your language and
how you use language because your language (how you speak) creates
reality for you. You really do speak things into existence and you are
creating your beingness all the time (in the beginning was the word).
As human beings we have identified with an image of ourselves. That
image is made up of beliefs and pictures. We have created that image
and said in effect, "That is who I am." You say, "I am the image of myself."
You have become your image and forgot that you created it! And you are
now living "inside of" your creation. You are being that image and
maintaining that image simply out of the way you speak.
We inherently love our creations. That is why we are so "in love" with our
self-image, the picture we hold of ourselves. Even if our self-image is
"negative" we are still "in love" with it. You will begin to realize this when
you face the possibility of letting go of that negative self-image. You want
to hold on to it because you made it and now identify with it. But you have
forgotten something so simple that makes all the difference in how you live
your life. You forgot that you created it and forgot your true identity, which
is being the creator of that image. Your true identity rests in being the
creator rather than the creation.
In creating a life you love, you want to make the distinction between
creating a result in the world and creating being. If you are attempting to
create something in the world and are grim about it or you are "efforting
and struggling", then your chances of accomplishing your goal are greatly
diminished. How you are being while you are attempting to manifest
something is often much more important than the goal itself. It is often a
matter of enjoying the journey than to be stuck on the destination (when
are we going to get there).
How Coaching Works
What is the function of a coach?
When we think of the word "coach" the first thing that comes to mind is
someone in the sport's field. A coach is someone who "knows the game"
typically because he or she has "played the game". But when a coach is
coaching players the coach is "on the sidelines" watching and listening to
the players. When it comes to "practice" the coach is enabling the player
to maximize his or her ability. Because the coach is intently observing the
performance of the player, the coach is in a position to give the player
feedback empowering the player to continually improve his or her ability to
play the game. When it comes to "game time" the coach is assisting
players to develop strategies so that they increase their ability to "win the
game."
Without a coach, a player does not have the all-important "mirror" to
continually see him or herself in what he or she is doing. There is no
"feedback loop" where the player can evaluate what's missing and bring
something new to the game. In the coaching relationship, something new
can come into existence that goes beyond what the coach and the player
could anticipate. As Napoleon Hill once said, "No two minds ever come
together without, thereby, creating a third, invisible, intangible force which
may be likened to a 3rd mind."
When it comes to the "game of life" very few of us have a "coach" or a
mentor to whom we can turn to, and consider, the next step in our "game".
This is the value that coaching can provide for you, another person who
can "hold" your highest potential as a creator of possibilities. There will be
times when you "forget", when you are "down on yourself", or when you
feel it's just not worth it, or forget your own power, or even forget what
your goal was. It is during those times that we typically "chuck it all" and
return to the couch or live in our dreams of "someday" or "when I get
around to it." There is wisdom in the old saying, "When the going gets
tough, the tough get going." As long as you "keep going" no matter how
small the steps and no matter how difficult the going gets, eventually
breakthroughs happen and you reach your destination.
The Coaching Process
The coaching process is all done by telephone. The first step in setting up
the coaching relationship is to have an initial Vision Interview. The
purpose of the Vision Interview is to look at what you are creating (or have
created) that you seek to fulfill. The coach will assist you in articulating
your vision, what you really want for yourself and your life. Your Vision is
what you envision, what you see; it is, initially, a broad stroke painting of
what you want in your life or what you want for your life. It may be
something that you want to do in the world or it may be a new way of being
or perhaps something that you want to have. It will become your future
toward which you are living into. It is the outcome toward which you are
seeking to accomplish.
The result of the Vision Interview is that you will have a clearer vision of
your creation. You will see clearly what you are intending to manifest into
the world. You will have a greater clarity as to what manifesting this vision
will make available to you in your life. There is often a greater purpose in
your life than simply the accomplishment of an external goal. It is often an
experience you are really looking for, and you believe it is the
accomplishment of the goal that will make that experience available to
you. When you can see clearly the experience you are looking for, you will
get in touch with your ability to create that experience now. As you seek to
fulfill your vision and as you create the experience you are looking for,
then the process of fulfilling your goal takes on a new dimension. It is akin
to "enjoying the journey" rather than being stuck on the destination.
Commitment
Manifesting a vision can only occur out of a commitment to that vision.
Your commitment actually "holds" your vision in place. Your commitment is
what generates your circumstances to align with the fulfillment of that
commitment. Without a commitment to fulfilling your vision, your creations
are likely to occur as just another "good idea" that never gets fulfilled. Or
when the inevitable resistances arise, you will likely give up and settle for
other "more important" activities like watching TV or browsing in the
refrigerator for something to binge on.
It is valuable to realize that the moment you declare and commit to
something, everything that is "unlike" your vision will show up in the form
of resistances along the way. For example, if I create the possibility having
more money in my life, all of my "issues" about money will suddenly rise to
the surface. It will look at first, like things are not working, like I'm someone
who could never have a lot of money, I'm not "meant" to have more
money, all of the past ways that I have irresponsibly dealt with money, my
guilt, what I "believe" about having money in my life, and so on, will show
it's "ugly face". It is at those points where we typically "sell out" and tell
ourselves, "it's not worth it" or "forget about it." It is why most of us don't
carry through with New Year's resolutions; the first moment we "blow it" we
use that as a justification for not going forward.
Resistances are not bad. Resistances are the very "stuff" out of which
growth occurs. But without working through the resistances, without
acknowledging them, without letting go of that which stops you, you will
always tend to "sell out" to them and you will be diverted from your vision.
The only thing that really stops you is your own thinking or what you are
telling yourself. When you can transform your thinking and let go of your
barriers you can move forward.
The next step in the coaching relationship is to set up scheduled
"coaching calls". Coaching calls are typically 20-minute encounters where
the coach brings you through the process of looking at what is opening up
for you in the fulfillment of your vision. This could be an acknowledgment
of your "wins" during the week or an acknowledgement of the resistances
or struggles you are encountering. Your "wins" are the completions of
your commitments, what you say you are going to do. As in any game,
there are sometimes "losses", that is, not completing or accomplishing
what you say you will. It is when you "lose" that you typically experience a
loss of power. It is during those times when you begin to question and
doubt exactly what you have committed to. These are critical points
because, in life, when we "lose" we tend to throw away our whole vision
and get down on ourselves. How many times have you made promises to
yourself to do something and when you fail to do some part of it, you end
up throwing away the whole program and then beating yourself up!
As resistances are inevitable, your coach will be a "clearing" for you to
acknowledge your resistances and your losses and ultimately choose to
release or give up what is in the way. The releasing of your resistances
and the negative thinking that results when we "lose" at something will
open up the way to create or re-create a new action toward your vision.
This is what will enable you to "keep going." It is what will build your
"commitment muscle".
At the beginning stages of the coaching relationship, the coach will have
you commit to actions that you will count on yourself to accomplish no
matter what. When you can give your word to do what you say you are
going to do and then do what you say, then you are developing your
power muscle. Initially, it may be some very simple actions that the coach
will have you commit to but as you fulfill them you will have the capacity to
take on more and more and you will begin to feel your true power.
In the coaching relationship you are literally designing your life how you
want it to be
You don't have to "search" for your potential; it is what is sitting directly in
front of you. By taking action to deal with what is sitting in front of you, you
open up greater and greater realms of possibility.
The important thing is that you are in action; you are taking steps to the
fulfillment of something. It is a lot like "getting the ball rolling". Once you
get the ball rolling you have some momentum to keep going.
The 5 steps to a coaching call
The coaching calls are structured around 5 basic intentions, which are
designed to assist you in letting go of barriers and resistances, and then
creating a new possibility toward the accomplishment of your vision.
1) To create the space for you to look at what is opening up for you in
your life about the vision you have created.
This question provides you the space to see what you are present to in
your experience. What are you actually observing as a reality in your
outer world and in your inner world? It allows you to take an accounting of
where you are in the fulfillment of your vision. What are the results so far?
By articulating where you are, you have an opportunity to assess what is
working and what is not working for you.
2) To create the space for you to look at barriers and resistances
This question brings you back to the realization that the only thing that
stops you in your life is your thoughts and your feelings. We all get caught
up in our own resistances. When you can see clearly how you are
stopping yourself you have an opportunity to release those thoughts and
feelings.
3) To create the space for you to give up what is holding you back
This question creates an opportunity for you to look at what you might let
go of or give up that would make a difference in the fulfillment of your
goal. Since the only thing that is stopping you is your negative thoughts
and feelings, learning to release those thoughts and feelings opens up
the way for you to continue on your path.
4) To create a new intention, possibility or action for the day or the week
This question enables you to keep looking at what is next for you in the
fulfillment of your vision. It is the "next step" in the accomplishment of your
goal.
5) To create the space to be acknowledged and appreciated
You will sometimes forget why you are seeking to fulfill your vision. You
may find yourself stuck on the destination rather than enjoying the
journey. When you can declare what you want to be acknowledged and
appreciated for, you get in touch with "what's missing" in your experience.
Seeing clearly "what's missing" enables you to create a new way of being.
Fulfilling your vision is a lot like climbing a mountain. It is often like taking
one step at a time but there are also times where you take leaps and
bounds. The important thing is, making it to the top requires "keeping on
going" even when you don't "want" to.
It's All A Game
An important perspective in the whole coaching process is the realization
that what you are engaged in is truly "a game." It really is the game of
your life. It is the game of fulfilling your potential. Whether you "win" or
"lose" is not the ultimate meaning. The important thing is that you are
playing the game but you don't have to play the game. It is always a
choice. You can either be on the playing field or you can be a spectator.
But if you are really honest with yourself, you will see that life is much
more enjoyable when you are playing, when you are engaged, when you
are "in the action." And you would much rather win than lose.
What is really at stake in playing the game is the experience of playing the
game. But the experience of playing the game is heightened when you are
going for the win. When you are playing the game of your life, you have
an opportunity to experience your highest self. You have the opportunity
to experience the heights of what a human being can experience such as
personal power, joy, self-expression, freedom and love all of which arise
out of creating.
You feel power in life when you have brought something into existence
that did not exist before. The measure of your power is the speed by
which you can manifest something. Powerful people are able to bring their
creations into existence with great velocity.
You feel joy in life when you are creating something. You get a little taste
of what God must experience in creating the universe.
You are expressing yourself because, in the process of creating, you are
truly expressing your Self. You come to know your Self as a creator, not
yourself which is the object of your creations.
You experience freedom when you begin to realize that you are not a
victim of life nor a victim of your circumstances. You are someone who is
causing life to occur.
You are experiencing love because you inherently love your creations and
you are engaging other people in the process. There really is no "doing it
alone." You are sharing yourself, allowing yourself to be supported and
supporting others.
Investing In Your Life
Coaching is an investment in your dream. The value of a coach is that you
have another human being to whom you are accountable. Accountability
is just what the word means. It is taking an accounting of yourself, an
assessment of yourself on an on-going basis. You are accounting for what
you are declaring and evaluating whether you have fulfilled that
declaration. Without accountability to another human being, most of us
cannot develop the inner resources to account for ourselves; so we seek
another human being whom we can express our intentions. But it is really
not the coach you are accountable to; it is yourself. The coach is simply
another being that creates a "clearing" for you to express into. By
continually engaging in the process you become more accountable to
yourself.
One of the things that you will learn in coaching is the value of expressing
and declaring yourself. Without declaring yourself, without committing
yourself to something, nothing, literally nothing, happens. Your creation
stays like a still picture on the stage of your mind. You have heard the
saying, "Be careful what you ask for because you might get it." Well it is
true. Another way of saying that is "Be careful what you commit to
because you just might accomplish it!!"
I am convinced that we all have greatness in us but we all also have heavy
lids on top of our greatness. Coaching is about taking the lid off of your
greatness and bringing your creations into reality.
If you have any questions or would like to schedule a coaching call,
please email me or call me at (877) 372-8784.
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